In 1964, New York City, 

38 neighbours witnessed a woman stabbed thrice over the course of 30min,

But nobody called the police.

In psychology,

 this apathetic behaviour is a matter of

psychological survival.

‘if one is surrounded

and pressed by millions of people,

to prevent them from constantly impinging on you,

and the only way to do this

is to ignore them as often as possible.

Indifference to one’s neighbour and his troubles

is a conditioned reflex in life in New York…’

as it is in Singapore.

When my late grandmama had a fit at Tampines Mall’s Seoul Garden in 2000,

Despite my maid’s wailings,

Only three out of a full-house of people cared.

I even heard this woman say to her kid who was looking on,

‘Don’t look, don’t look. Just eat and mind your own business.’

Thinking about this infuriates me quite abit.

And tonight, I realise why I hate steamboats.

I really never knew why until now.

People can get more interested in skewering their lards and porks over the grillers

Than showing some compassion by lending a hand.

I think dogs have more compassion than people like that.

Not everyone is apathetic, although they seem to be the minority.

One of the waiters gave my grandmama his finger to bite on

While his colleague scrambled for a spoon.

I’ll never forget the cringe of pain on his face.

This guy, is one hero.

 So why do people usually behave like that woman next to my dinner table that night?

A study done by Columbia University and New York University

did a study that explains this ‘bystander problem.’

And the researchers found that

When people are in a group,

responsibility for acting is diffused.

They assume that someone else will make the call,

or they assume that beacuse no one else is acting,

the apparent probloem -

isn’t really a problem.

However,

When there’s only one witness of a problem,

He steps out to help most of the time.

This shows us that

Isolation does make one more sound at times.

People just love blending in.

But I believe that a person can step out even in the midst of the majority.

It’s useless being a fantastic observer when all I can do is ogle.

I need to do what I need to do when help is needed.

She just couldn’t stop moving forward.

She ran like she’s on fire.

May we be more colourful.

May we be more bold.

Sweet.

I’ve been in high spirits all day.

I think it was the internal decision I made yesterday when

I got reminded about

How highly contagious we are,

That without a word,

Our attitudes can infuse the people around us/the room we’re in.

It was an undeclared project my heart and mind navigated me towards since morning.

And before I wanted to spread some aroma,

I had to do some housekeeping with my heart.

On my way to school,

I plugged into my ipodnano,

And began focusing inwards.

It was like clearing up the left overs of last night’s dinner plates at the dining table,

And wiping out the breakfast remnants

Until it was a clean and clear.

It felt really good,

Like how a polished table would shine and smell like fresh lemon’s breath.

I thanked Dad for the brand new day.

My body altogether freshened up.

And my face seemed brighter.

I’m smiling more.

And there’s a gentle gusto in the way I walked all day.

In class,

The sight of people had a magnetizing effect on me.

It felt really cool to be around new classmates,

‘Cos that means I’m getting to know more people,

And make more friends,

Find more opportunities to give, receive and share.

Lunch and study with Liz and Lijun,

Was utterly simple and sweet.

Our conversation reminded us about how Dad has a sense of humour

When He seems to always makes of our ‘worst’ attribute into our best attribute.

Like Lijun seems to get disorganised and forgetful all her life

But she can quote Him like Dr. Robb Thompson.

Our mooncake festival dinner party at Yahlan’s

Was hightime.

I enjoyed weaving in and out of

Different groups of people,

In between food and playful banter.

Even the midnight busride home with Tiffany and Daphne

Was something.

We just couldn’t stop updating the happenings in our lives

And the things we’re looking forward to.

Everyone seemed happy today.

Everything seemed brighter.

Problems seemed to be simpler to solve.

Even food tasted better.

The humid weather couldn’t irritate me like the usual,

It felt like a sticky-good-day.

I’m looking forward rest of the week!

(Okay. Back to biz. I’m burying myself in my principles of ACCOUNTING book.)

♥

I’m typing this with heavy eyelids

But I reckon there’ll be no time for bloggin until after midnight onwards.

I had two weekends of 9am-5pm Principles of Accounting crash course

And numbers are, really, getting fun,

Though I realise how I have absolutely no-calling or innate passion/talent for numbers.

Anyhow, I hope the coming Wednesday exam would be well done.

Mum got me a book from Vivo City’s PageOne (I love their knee-tall reading tables and stools by the harbour-view)

It’s Malcolm Gladwell’s

//The Tipping point//

Which talks about

How little things can make a big difference.

This book excites me.

It emphasizes the truth and power of

How a few people can impact the world.

Everyday,

Everywhere,

There is an unconscious influence we subject ourselves to.

//Yawn//

You will probably yawn within the next few seconds from now.

Some of you could start yawning when you read this.

Even as I’m typing this, I’ve yawned twice.

If you’ve thought about this in public,

And you’ve just yawned,

People around you might spotted you yawning

And started yawning themselves.

Others seeing these people yawning,

Would have started yawning too.

And the ripple effect widens an ever-widening yawning circle.

I realise coughing in a classroom,

Is a Singaporean favourite.

You don’t have to wait for a position-appointment

To make a difference in your environment.

You can administer influence

And witness its ripple-effect grow into an ever-widening ripple-effect.

Before i want to think about being the next-big-thing,

I am reminded that

Human beings are programmed

To be ultra sensitive to identifying and assuming Attitudes.

Conscious or not,

We pick up attitude signals and tones very easily.

Most of the time,

We are influenced by them.

We are contagious beings.

We just vary in what we are contagious for.

What influenza do I want to spread?

I hope to be contagious in:

Compassion – people matter, and everyone is significant, important and worthy of respect.

Love and hunger for truth – it sets me free and gives me peace.

Confidence – everyone has a forte, everyone is made to be great, just in different areas of society. I am who I am today, because of people who believed in me.

Boldness – When I fear only my Dad, there is nothing that can freak me out, not even death.

Resilience – it’s okay to make mistakes, you just got to keep on going and be better.

Enough of painful epidemics of AIDS, abortion and chicken flu.

We need some

Positive epidemic

To bring the world a good turnover.

 Goodbye for now,

My skin is crying out for rejuvenation.

♥

Zero-in.

Eyes locked.

Mind made up.

Feet forward.

Sometimes, we got to duck under.

Crabwalk, in dangerous times.

Crawl, when we’re weak.

Zoom, when there’s no time to waste.

Jog, to warm ourselves up into momentum

Stroll, and enjoy the journey.

At all times,

We just keep moving.

Staying in the march is not easy when you depend on your own strength.

You can even fly when you ride on him.

My compact foundation (ok guys, it’s the makeup flatbox with a powderpuff in’nit)

Plopped into the toilet bowl this afternoon!

CRINGE.

It’s the most costly one I have,

Thank God it’s almost used up.

It feels like Sunday.

Mum picked me up and we shopped at her teenage Far East Plaza – Peoples’ Park, Chinatown.

It’s the first time we met this week.

Though we get to see one another less than twice in seven days,

We’ve really grown closer.

Her boyfriend is God-sent and a prayer answer.

He’s a Japanese head-chef, lean and nimble,

Prim and proper,

Honest and humble.

It’s not easy to find a man who insists on doing the laundry, pressing the clothes, washing the dishes,

And serving fruit platters, Japanese-style.

He cooks my favourite Unagi omelette occassionally

And reminds mum to pay more attention to me.

 From three to nine,

I had two prayer requests that never changed -

a. Please give me a daddy

b. Please give me a kid sister/brother

I’d nag at mum to participate in matchmaking TV programmes

And pretend I had a daddy to tuck me in everynight.

[Blankets up. Storybooks. Pink bunny. Ribena. Johnson & Johnson's baby powder]

[Goodnight 'shanshan'. Daddy loves you.]

I gave up at twelve and begun hating what I could not get.

Today,

I’ve got double happiness.

My Big Daddy

and

Uncle Patrick.

Your desires are His desires.

What good will He withhold from those whom He loves?

I can’t wait for next weekend.

It’s sure gonna be a blast.

Last week,

I went to a hospital’s psychological ward.

The girls suffer from anorexia nervosa or/and bulimia nervosa.

They are young, friendless, dropped out or deferred from school.

Every meal they eat is under invigilation.

No grain of rice, no morsel of food can be left in their plate.

I saw their lunch, and it’s one huge of a portion for two people.

To them, succumbing to eat food is a blasphemy.

But how they yearn for it.

They are hardly on their beds.

Regular movements burn calories.

Exercise is prohibited

But they do their best to burn as much carbohydrates as they can.

There’s no rest, no peace.

But an incessant writhing within their bodies make war with themselves day and night.

Everyone lost their sweetheart.

Lost their jobs.

Where’s the time to be occupied with relationships and school/career

When there’s a battle to fight on your own everyday?

There is plenty who tried to enter their battlefields

‘Don’t be stupid. Don’t be an idiot. Why are you killing yourself?’

And they baffle themselves crazy why they got kicked out of their lives.

They ain’t problems sums for people to solve.

They are just hurt people who need friends to walk through the road of recovery with them.

Friends to hang out with,

To do things together,

To believe in them.

It may be their limp for a lifetime,

But they can still finish the race

If they have people running with them.